Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
