All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
