Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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