At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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