I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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