just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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