Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
