In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
