Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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