Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
