as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
