I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
