ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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