Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
