so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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