Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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