Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
