why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it glows. i had to have it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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