...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize