CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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