dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
