One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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