Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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