How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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