508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize