Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
