did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
