Only a mothe r could love this liver
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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