I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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