I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
