...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
