if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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