My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I could fuck to npr.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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