Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
