I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
