i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
ttyl tear gas
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
