So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
