he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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