don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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