i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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