Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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