i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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