If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
