Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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