My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
