i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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