i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
