He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
