is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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