drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
