i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
