i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize