I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
