just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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