He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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