Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
