Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
