She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
