i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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