Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
