Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My pussy is not your playground.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
