what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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