Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize