eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
