I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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