Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
